February 20, 2004
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It’s 6:30 AM and I’m still awake…
I’m working on my English paper trying to add more analysis, but it’s such a long and arduous process. I hate English courses, all you do in them is read and write! ugh! Anyhow, I figured I’d take a break from all this forced writing and update my journal just so I can get the creative juices flowing again…
Since coming back from Hong Kong, my sense of time has been completely thrown out of whack. I’ve had such a difficult time trying to get back into the swing of things. I’m not exactly sure why it’s so difficult readjusting to the time here, but I hope I figure it out soon because midterms are next week and I’ll need all weekend to study and cram. Although I was back on Tuesday and had only missed 2 days of school during the week that I was gone, my jetlag has set me back another week because I wasn’t able to make it to most of my classes this week because I either overslept and missed the class or because I fell asleep in it. Oh well, as long as I don’t fall asleep during the midterm, I should be fine. Speaking of midterms, I haven’t exactly been doing my reading for my classes, so I’m kind of scared about my midterms, but I’ve been to most of the lectures, and have read most of the stuff in previous upper division courses, so hopefully that’ll work to my advantage…
Enough on the school front though…
This coming weekend is the UCLGBTIA conference, which would have marked my two year anniversary with Chris. This year it’s at UCSD; how ironic that we would break up, he would return back to his school, and then the conference would coincidentally be there as well. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go or not, but after much thought, I think it’s best that I not go. Although I’ve enjoyed going to all the different workshops and meeting other queer people from the other campuses, I think the fact that it’s at UCSD this year just makes things a little bit too difficult for me to deal with. Not only would Chris be there, but so would a certain someone whom I really would NOT like to see, and plus there are too many memories that Chris and I shared at UCSD on my visits down there. Simply put, it would be too painful for me. Although it has been some time now that we’ve been broken up, I still haven’t fully recovered to the point of where I could see him again and be ok about it emotionally. I think talking to him over the phone and through AIM is sufficient for now; I just need some more time before I can actually speak to him in person. He’s doing well though, and I’m glad he’s happy again…
My weekends are pretty free now. I’m only working on Sundays at CalPerfs, so my schedule is pretty open and it feels weird to have this freedom. I kind of enjoy it because I can hang out with my friends again and be more spontaneous. This freedom won’t last long though, midterms are around the corner. Ugh, stupid school–always has to ruin everything. So this weekend though, I’m going to finally hang out with the Hapas, my friend Susan has been trying to get me to go to the events for about 2 years now, but they’ve always conflicted with my schedule, so this Saturday, I’ll finally get to hang out with them. It’ll be nice to hang out in a group setting again…
I’ve been listening to Madonna’s American Life album and have discovered that it’s quite good. I really like Love Profusion, there are some other good ones on there too though…
Ugh, ok, gotta go finish my paper now before I have to go to my Academic Senate meeting, blah…
