January 12, 2004
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I finished reading “The Snow Garden” tonight. It wasn’t exactly the ending I was looking for, but it definitely left me thinking about who we are as people, and how others perceive us. There are so many decisions that we make in our lives, and it doesn’t just affect us, it has a rippling effect and can potentially harm others we care about. Christopher Rice is an amazing writer and I can’t wait until his next book comes out. Thanks for introducing me to him Chris!
So a lot has happened lately. I finally got my pay raise at Blue and Gold, and I’m now making $15+ an hour, so I’m really jazzed about that, just not about the union initiation fee I’ll have to pay later, lol. I finally got my last grade back for the Fall semester and it completes the sweep of A’s. I don’t get to say this much, but I’m really proud of myself. This has definitely been one of the more trying semesters for me, and probably one of the most trying times in my life, but I’ve made it through, albeit a bit roughed up and with a few emotional scars, but they’re healing–they just need some time…
I’ve been hanging out with my friends pretty often lately. Throughout my time here at Cal, my friends have stuck by me through all the good and bad times, and I’m really grateful for them. I don’t think I get to tell them how much I appreciate them as often as I’d like, but I hope they know that I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for them. In my darkest hours, when all hope seemed to have faded with the setting of the sun, my friends brought light back into my life. No matter where I go or what I do, they have always accepted me for who I am, and have always made me feel at home. For those of you reading this, thank you, thank you, a million times thank you!
A couple of nights ago, I had an amazing phone conversation with a friend of mine. He actually took me by surprise because I had already gone to bed and dozed off for like 20 minutes or so, but then the phone rang and his name popped up on the display. We’ve been involved in a barrage of phone tag given our busy and conflicting schedules, but we finally got to talk the night before last and it was just awesome! I haven’t had a conversation like that in quite some time, and the two hours that we talked just flew by. It’s always nice to be able to find someone whom you can just talk to about the most random things, and still be fully engaged in the conversation. Our world is such a fast-paced and driven society that there always has to be a purpose for a call, or a motive, but it’s nice to be able to just talk about any random thing–about whatever comes into mind. Each human is so absolutely unique and special in his or her own way; we all have so much to offer to others, but oftentimes, most people just don’t have the time to discover these hidden jewels. Fortunately for me, a precious one is before me; it pains me then to see him hurt…
Although my new year is progressing well and in a direction that appears to be fun, a friend of mine doesn’t appear to be as fortunate. Like me, his heart was broken, on multiple occasions, and he doesn’t deserve it–not one little crack. He is pure in heart, soul, and mind, but the scandalous acts committed against him have tarnished his faith in people, and in love. I don’t know what I can say to him to help ease the pain, but hopefully he knows that his friends are here for him. Pain is not an emotion to be taken lightly. It is a formidable foe, and must not be met alone. I know it hurts now, but know that you’re not alone. For what it’s worth, I’ll stand by you and we’ll weather the storm together. In my darkest hour, and when I had lost faith in the possibility of good people existing, you came into my world and showed me that there are still good, honest, and caring people out there. With every email, you bring a smile to my face, and in your dark hour, I can only hope I can do the same for you…
