March 5, 2006
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…rock and a hard place…
I’ve spent all day in my room trying to work on my film, but I haven’t gotten very far. Every time I started to get somewhere, the thought of moving again crept into my mind and I was distracted and depressed all over again. I’m so frustrated because I just don’t know what to do…
I wrote my last posting when my emotions were running high, and I guess I shouldn’t have been as harsh as I was, but that’s how I felt at the moment. The anger has subsided somewhat, but I’m still clueless as to how I should proceed with this situation. I don’t want him staying here because he feels guilty because then he’ll just be miserable and I don’t want him living here if he’s gonna be miserable. At the same time, I really don’t feel like moving, but I know that we have to come to some kind of compromise…
We finally had our follow-up talk as to how we both really feel and we’re both a little more clear about the situation at hand, but still clueless as to what will happen in the following weeks/months. He reassured me that he won’t run out on me, and that, in turn, made me really ashamed of myself for thinking that he would do that to me; I should have known better, but given my previous roommate experience, I honestly just don’t know what I should think or believe nowadays…
Since finances are my main concern regarding moving, I did make one concession. I told him that I’d be willing to move if we could wait until mid-May or so and give some of my friends who would live with us the opportunity to graduate first, that way we could look for a bigger apartment in a better area, but still be able to keep rent low. I’m thinking this would be the best choice because even though I love living where I’m at, I think I would wind up living with a stranger, and I’m not too comfortable with that. Additionally, I would want to live with some of my other friends, and I guess moving would present that opportunity, but UGH! I STILL HATE MOVING! The very thought of having to move again is so incredibly draining in and of itself…
The other alternative still remains though. If I can find someone who I’d be willing to live with, then I would just stay and he would be free to move. He’s willing to pay a premium to live in a more centralized and social location, and unfortunately, I can’t afford that given what’s in my future. Man, being an adult sucks. I just want to run away to Taiwan and teach English!
Man, I need to quit bitching and get back to work though. I’m gonna finish this freakin’ film this week if it kills me!
Comments (4)
i’ll be here as you need me. whatever capacity you need me. i’m glad that at least you’ve opened up communication lines with your roommate. i’ve always relied on patience and time to sort things out. just keep moving forward. love ya!
work! or lets move to taiwan. then we can go to funky every weekend.
dang man, sorry to hear about your appt situation. i’ll keep an eye out for people looking for places now or in may and i’ll send any leads your way!
oh, if you do end up moving, you should have a moving party…that’s what nick and his roomies did. the process is less of an ordeal with a whole posse of movers! just bribe your crew with alcohol later (-:
good luck!
did you talk to stef about our solution to your dilemma??
be happy, ty! i can’t even imagine you being upset…